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8 Things We Wish The UA Offered This Week


Sure, discounted shuttle buses to the airport are great and all, but what do we really want from our student government? It's time our needs were taken seriously, and it's our duty to speak up. Our government is here to help, after all.


  1. Tell our Spanish TAs to chill out with the recitations this week. Si si we get it, Wednesday es "viernes". Pero like, slow tu roll-o.
  2. Tell freshmen to get off Penn InTouch. When we're bored over break and messing around with schedules, a bunch of angry second semester seniors will riot if they can't get into Oceanography.
  3. Get rid of the Physical World requirement all together. See #2.
  4. Make the Wawa Gobbler sandwich available year-round. High priority item, UA.
  5. Tell the one professor who scheduled a final for 9pm on Dec. 19th avada kedavra.
  6. Free umbrellas. Or better yet, make it clear if we need umbrellas. What is this perpetual drizzle?
  7. Mandate that no flyering is allowed on Locust when the high temperature of the week is below freezing. Self-explanatory.
  8. No class. Are you effing kidding me? We're sick of seeing instas of our friends with a full week off.