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What You Should Really Read During Reading Days

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UTB has scourged the Internet to bring you the best (or something) reading material on the Internet this week. Your procrastination should be as enriching as the work you should really be doing! Get to clicking.

1. A Comprehensive Catalog of R. Kelly's Sexual Metaphors Self-explanatory.

2. Smart Bra Helps Cut Down Stress-Eating Finals season means you're hungry or you're stressed and sometimes you can't tell the difference.

3. Beards Are Cool On Wall Street  Waiting for this to turn into a 34th Street interactive post.

4. Beyonce Wears Fur To Vegan Restaurant There is no stopping Beyonce. Just like there is no stopping you.

5. Narcoleptic Dog  "At moments of high emotion, Bo looses muscle control and appears to fall asleep." New excuse to miss your final.

6. Smarter People Have More Sex, Do More Drugs Turn down for what? For the acquisition of knowledge.

7. Cul-De-Sacs Are Bad For Your Health  Great socioeconomic analysis, better life advice!

8. Lana Del Rey's Short Film: Tropico  27 minutes you'll have to suffer through to be socially relevant.

9. NYT In-Depth Reporting: Invisible Child If you need a long study break, and want to read some really gorgeous writing.

10. Somebody Finally Made A Sexy-Cab-Driver Calendar  Better than watching porn in the lib, amirite?

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