(20)18 Things More Likely To Happen At Penn Than You Being Admitted

Decisions for Penn's Class of 2018 go live today at 5:00 p.m. With the lowest acceptance rate  in history, nothing is certain. Besides the 13% of the class filled by legacies. Regardless, emotions will be high as day fades to night and the decision page fades to a 404 error. To keep things in perspective, we've compiled a list of 18 things that are more likely to happen at Penn than an undergraduate admission.

1. Eight or more friends have summer jobs in investment banking: 83.1% 

2. Snow falls on fling weekend: 13.7% 

3. You wear a tank anyway: 98.9% 

4. Dean Furda tags himself in his own tweets: 92.2% 

5. Starbucks under Commons makes your drink "the Starbucks way": 9.96% 

6. You get an A in a biology class: 12.4% 

7. Blarney accepts your ID of a different race and gender: 78.5% 

8. You get run over crossing Spruce Street by Wawa: 45.2% 

9. Dean Furda rejected a few kids at the end to keep the admissions rate in the single digits: 99.9% 

10. You use all your meal swipes as a freshman: 23.8%

11. Betches ditch Sweetgreen and go to Saladworks instead because the line was too long: 11.1%

12. You stop feeling peer pressure to tip on HubBub's iPad: 13.2%

13. John Legend becomes Penn's mascot: 78.1%

14. You have an original '00' PennCard: 17.9%

15. Walk down locust without being danced/sang/flyered at: 10.1%

16. You've thought about wanting to keep the charitable pair of Warby Parkers for yourself: 95.8%

17. Amy Gutmann continues to grow younger: 30.1%

18. You were one of the lucky 2,420 who snuck in Early Decision: 54.0%

Good Luck, Baby Quakers. We hope to see you this Fall! xoxo