What's HapPENNing?

Ah, the Monday after Thanksgiving Break – or, as we at UTB like to call it, the most depressing day of the year! Our refrigerators are empty, our GCals full, and our hearts void of love. Perhaps a peek at what's going on this week will turn those frowns upside down. No? At least we tried. 

Tonight: SPEC Special Events Presents: WINTERFEST, Bodek Lounge, 7:30 p.m.

Is this when they're going to announce that Juicy J is this year's Fling headliner?

Tuesday: "Centered Leadership" with Joanna Barsh, Steinberg-Dietrich Hall, 5 p.m.

We're just going to go ahead and ask the question that everyone is thinking but doesn't want to say out loud...who actually goes to these kind of Wharton events? 

Tuesday: The Body Electric's Poetry Reading, Kelly Writers House, 6 p.m.

Elvis is my daddy, Marilyn's my mother, Jesus is my bestest friend.

Tuesday-Wednesday: Insomnia Cookie Fundraiser, Insomnia Cookies in Houston

Support Students Against Sex Trafficking with their two-day fundraiser. We'll take a dozen chocolate chip, please. 

Thursday: No Dirty Business: Stay Healthy This Flu Season, Huntsman, 10 a.m.

We actually love free stuff and want our gratuitous hand sanitizer ASAP. 

Thursday: Quadramics Presents: Large Animal Games, Class of '49 Auditorium, 7 p.m.

What. Is. Going. On. In. This. Facebook. Event's. Cover. Photo.

Thursday: St. Elmo Speakeasy, 3627 Locust Walk, 7 p.m.

Head on over to the Sweetgreen fundraiser after, because we hear kids in Elmo love Sweetgreen. 

Thursday: Sweetgreen Fundraiser with Penn Pre-Dental Society, Sweetgreen (in case that wasn't clear), 7 p.m.

Apparently, kale has unparalleled teeth benefits. 

Friday-Saturday: The Excelano Project Presents: Incendiary, Dunlop Auditorium, times vary 

This group better not be just a bunch of pyros. 

Friday-Saturday: Off The Beat Presents: Nothing But The Beat, Harrison Auditorium at the Penn Museum, times vary

We'll only applaud their word play if they sing this.

Friday-Saturday: Sparks Dance Company Presents: "Mirror Mirror," Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts, times vary

Is Sparks Dance Company the fairest of them all? Um no, because that would mean UTB isn't. 

Saturday: Dischord Presents: Throwbackapella, Meyerson Hall, 1 p.m. and 7 p.m.

How many puns can you really make out of "A Capella?" 

Saturday: Penn Symphony Orchestra Presents: GREATEST HITS, Irvine Auditorium, 8 p.m.

Well, since they're playing so-called 'Greatest Hits,' it must mean there's an orchestral version of "Toxic" by Britney Spears!

Saturday: Shabbatones Presents: Shabba-Bar Mitzvah, Harrison Auditorium at the Penn Museum, 8:30 p.m.

Will Jacob be there?

Don't see your event listed? Leave the info in the comments section below!