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Here's A List Of Ground Rules For Whoever's In Charge Of Approving Stuff For Penn's Snap Story

By UTB EDITOR

March 17, 2015 at 1:07 pm

By now you're probably aware that Penn's campus has its very own Snapchat story. Unfortunately, it was off to a rocky start yesterday considering that, like, 80% of the approved snaps on day one were of Drexel students complaining about finals (in March?). So we thought we'd jump in and lay out a few guidelines for the entity in charge of running that thing. After all, we care about how Penn is portrayed to ourselves.

Blacklist

First thing's first. This is the stuff no one here wants to see on the snap story:

  1. Vids taken on any campus besides ours—blue and yellow flags are a red flag
  2. Drexel students who are unaware Penn doesn't have finals in March
  3. Anything with a caption that includes
    • "the struggle is real"
    • "#upenn"
    • "swag"
    • House of Cards spoilers
    • "ivy fatigue"
    • that one emoji of the sun with a face (the moon ones are okay)
    • "feels"
    • incorrect grammar
  4. Still images with a duration greater than 3 seconds
  5. Canada geese if it's fall/winter, salmon shorts if it's spring
  6. Anything related to cigs
  7. Bodily fluids
  8. Pictures of people with 7 or more members of their sorority (seriously, spare us)
  9. Anything that requires turning our phone's volume down
  10. Low angle of a person's face
  11. Violence
  12. Singing—unless it's Michael Bublé level

Encouraged

Now onto some examples of stuff people actually wanna see,
i.e. stuff you should approve

  1. Nudes
  2. Any activity occurring underneath the Button
  3. Professors throwing stuff, including tantrums
  4. Good looking people
  5. People dancing poorly
  6. Rare, but anything interesting taking place in DRL
  7. People falling over in the wind tunnel
  8. Post-midnight slurred monologues in Wawa
  9. Video of anyone riding a scooter to class
  10. Amy Gutmann sightings
  11. Dean Furda sightings
  12. DOGS, any and all kinds of dogs
  13. Funny drawings on people's faces, especially if they're asleep in VP
  14. Anything that's accidentally phallic
  15. Snapchat artistry
  16. Shenanigans in DuBois
  17. Impressive cheat sheets
  18. Elaborately planned 10 second short films
  19. Elaborately planned 10 second short pornos

Other Guidelines

  1. Approve things regularly so we can expect updates every time we check our phone/every 6 and a half minutes.
  2. Okay fine, you can't approve nudes. But screenshot and send them to tips@underthebutton.com.
  3. How much do you get paid to do this? Not a guideline, but we thought we'd just ask you here anyway.
  4. Look for evidence that the snaps actually came from Penn students—apparel, logos, and campus landmarks are a good sign!
  5. When in doubt, consult us.
  6. We wanna see different faces! Don't approve the same people too often.
  7. And remember: with great responsibility comes great power.
  8. Download the PDF version of these guidelines, available here.

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