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Alternative Ways To Roll At Fling

It’s nearly Fling, which means that a large portion of the Penn population will be talking about how cool and awesome and fun they are for rolling this weekend. Fewer people will actually end up rolling due to a combination of drunkenness and fear, but the ones that do hit up our pal Molly to jam to Kesha/Kygo will probably be sort of annoying about it because this is Penn.

Given that we’re a campus publication, we can’t really advocate in support of drug use on campus (although we can’t say we’re totally against it either), so we’ve come up with a helpful list of ways for you to roll this weekend without taking to a mystery substance that may or may not have been made in a bathtub.

- Roll up squad deep to an event

- Find someone hot with whom to take a roll in the hay

- Cinnamon rolls are delicious!

- You know those rolls of hay that are sometimes in the middle of fields? Find one of those and bring it to the Quad!

- Be that kid rolling around on the ground at a party

- Steal a tire and roll it down the street

- Tootsie rolls!

- Practice tying this knot

- Tell someone that you’ll “definitely roll through at some point” to a pregame you hadn’t planned on attending

- Role-playing is great for spicing up your sex life

- Cry along to Rolling in the Deep by Adele because you miss your high school boyfriend

- Spend nine or ten hours observing the burrito technicians at Chipotle

- Reluctantly embrace your role as the Miranda of your friend crew

- Go to Houston for a sushi roll

Roll Up like Wiz Khalifa in 2011. Taylor gang or die.

- Roll your eyes at police officers that weirdly don’t think that teenagers should be drinking tequila in the middle of Wawa at noon on a weekday