Matt Kelemen
Tuesday, Oct. 20, 2015Tue, Oct 20, 2015
Penn has an endowment worth over $10 billion dollars and Amy Gutmann makes over $3.4 million dollars. That is so much cash!! You probably can't even conceptualize what that amount of $$ could buy. Luckily, we found Amy's shopping list. When Queen Amy isn't dropping stacks to maintain her title as Queen of the pant-suit game (sorry Hillary), she could/probably is buying these things:
- An ant farm full of horse-sized ants
- Balloons, so many balloons
- Capo
- Danny Devito to narrate every FPC hearing
- Every episode of Full House...on DVD!!
- Fountain of youth
- Granite block #feelthechafe!!!!
- Hamster habitat stretching throughout the walls of the quad
- Injections of botox (too real..)
- Hair dye (see above)
- John Legend on retainer to sing back-up for every a cappella concert
- Klimt's paintings
- Last minute tixs to the new Star Wars film
- Magic Carpet the real life flying carpet and not the overrated food truck
- Nosferatu
- One Direction for Fling
- Pirate eyepatch
- Rejected Penn student's dignity
- Sacrificial altar collection
- Tater tots
- Unicorn blood
- Versace slippers
- Wawa pizza
- X-ray machines for the quad during fling
- Yves Salomon fur jackets
- Zoo (turned out well for Matt Damon!!)
