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10 Million Things Amy Gutmann Spends Her Salary On

Penn has an endowment worth over $10 billion dollars and Amy Gutmann makes over $3.4 million dollars. That is so much cash!! You probably can't even conceptualize what that amount of $$ could buy. Luckily, we found Amy's shopping list. When Queen Amy isn't dropping stacks to maintain her title as Queen of the pant-suit game (sorry Hillary), she could/probably is buying these things:

  • An ant farm full of horse-sized ants
  • Balloons, so many balloons
  • Capo
  • Danny Devito to narrate every FPC hearing
  • Every episode of Full House...on DVD!!
  • Fountain of youth 
  • Granite block #feelthechafe!!!!
  • Hamster habitat stretching throughout the walls of the quad
  • Injections of botox (too real..)
  • Hair dye (see above)
  • John Legend on retainer to sing back-up for every a cappella concert 
  • Klimt's paintings 
  • Last minute tixs to the new Star Wars film
  • Magic Carpet the real life flying carpet and not the overrated food truck 
  • Nosferatu 
  • One Direction for Fling
  • Pirate eyepatch 
  • Rejected Penn student's dignity
  • Sacrificial altar collection
  • Tater tots 
  • Unicorn blood
  • Versace slippers
  • Wawa pizza 
  • X-ray machines for the quad during fling
  • Yves Salomon fur jackets
  • Zoo (turned out well for Matt Damon!!)