15 Things To Do While Sexiled

Unless you are some freaky exhibitionist, having sex in a double is difficult. Your partner has to wait while your roommate awkwardly shuffles out and you confer with them when to come back, all the while drastically overestimating how long you will last in bed. However, for those enjoying the warm and solitary comfort of their hand, here are some great ideas on how to spend the time:

1. Masturbate in some new, exciting (non-public) local
2. Cry about your loneliness in a rooftop lounge
3. Twitter-flirt with Dean Furda
4. Buy 16 McFlurries
5. Canvas message that qt in your recitation
6. Make a sweet claymation
7. Turn your GSR into a bubble bath
8. Finally learn the Cups song
9. Contemplate why someone would buy a “Not Penn State” t-shirt
10. Hack the Theos listserv
11. Domesticate a Penn squirrel
12. Find a freshman not complaining about writing sem
13. Eat that Wawa hot dog
14. Determine where the smell is really coming from
15. Call your mom, she really misses you

Or you could just kick your roommate out or find a new place to live, in which case look no further than the Daily Pennsylvanian's Housing Guide.