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8 Ways To Celebrate Hannukah At Penn

Hannukah starts at sundown tonight. Alas, the Jewmans of Penn are inevitably huddled in VP carrels, missing their Bubbe's latkes. Even though this collusion between the lunar calendar and the Registrar's office may have robbed you of the opportunity to celebrate with the fam, UTB is giving you 8 ways to celebrate at Penn! 

1. Take a VP study break and head to Dunkin Donuts. Those lil hash browns are basically latkes.  

2. OR just bless some individuals smoking outside of VP (increase by one for each night!). 

3. Take the time you would've spent lighting candles with your family and spend it worshipping the Goldman Shrine instead. Your rabbi will forgive you when you land that internship.  

4. Having a finals-time breakdown and need some help deciding what to do about your unfinished paper? Pick up your handy dreidel. Gimel means you're all in and you have to pull an all-nighter. Hay means you're going to half-ass the thing. Nun means you're going to drop out of school and join a fake Facebook event.

5. Rugrats Hannukah study break. Serious suggestion. 

6. Stress eat some gelt. Ripping apart those annoying wrappers is v cathartic. 

7. Latke kind-of sort-of rhymes with vodka? Take a shot of Bankers for the Tribe at your formal pregame. 

8. Hillel.