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Gutmann, Furda, and the Philadelphia Brotherhood of Thieves: Part Seven, The Great Kaboom

Thought the story was over just as it was getting good? THINK AGAIN. Here is the PENNultimate (lol) chapter of this semester's Serial feature. Be sure to check out Parts OneTwoThreeFourFive and Six and be sure to look for the eighth and final chapter next week. 

As I looked into the Bamboozler's black, wicked eyes, my stomach dropped. The cutlass was heavy in my hands and I realized that I, as a gal born in 1997 in suburban Pennsylvania, really had no business wielding an anachronistic weapon or fighting off dozens of pirates. But regardless I maintained eye contact and raised my weapon.

"Aarrgh. So it seems you're fixin' for a fight there, lass," chuckled the Bamboozler. His band of pirates guffawed at the thought. "You'll never win. Come over to our side," The great Bamboozler looked around at his loyal crew. "Before it's too late," he threatened.

"NEVER!" I cried. I looked at Gutmann, who nodded encouragingly. I turned to my other side, and saw Dylan staring at me intently. What, do I have something on my face? Or does he just believe in me? I thought, blushing at the thought of handsome Dylan believing in me. I nodded back at him, and the three of us prepared to surge towards the evil pirates, facing the possibility of death at the hand of our enemies. 

Suddenly, just as we were about to charge forward to fight for our fair University City, Furda's voice came booming out.

"STAND BACK!" he cried to us. 

I looked over and saw Ferocious Furda's lithe and sprightly form in the corner of the room. He pulled with all his might on a grizzled rope hanging among the dripping stalactites from the ceiling of the cave.

And with that, just as Dylan, Gutmann and I were about to risk our lives, the ceiling of the cavern collapsed on the group of marauding pirates below.


The Bamboozler and the pirates of the Scurvy Sailor Crew of the Schuylkill River disappeared beneath a pile of rubble. All of our assailants seemed to be crushed beneath that Amtrak desk and schedule board from 30th Street Station above.

I still don't really understand how there's a cave beneath the train station. I thought that the space underneath the station was where the trains were? I quickly brushed these thoughts away, however, with the ecstasy of seeing our enemies defeated. The room was quiet, the pirates were gone! We had done it! We'd saved University City!

Thrilled, Dylan, Fabulous Furda, Her Royal Highness Gutmann and I all rushed together for a group hug.

"How did you know to pull that rope?" asked an ecstatic Dylan.

"I just followed my heart!" responded Furda! 

Suddenly, a shrill BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP sound rang through the cavern.

What the?...... I thought.