Pro/Con/Pro: Walking v. Ubering to DRL
February 12, 2016 at 10:58 am
Look, we've all done it – but that doesn't make it permissible. Follow along as two of our most objectively attractive Editors break down your transportation tendencies.
CharCo: Let’s start with the obvious. Walking to class is a free and easy way to NOT look like a tool. It’s that simple! Remember, it costs $0.00 to not be a dick.
Mylès: But what’s the difference between $0.00 and $5.00, really? That’s like, 0.6% of a Canada Goose. You could take that Uber back and forth 150 times before it costs the same as a Canada Goose, which will likely go out of style once you graduate from Penn. (Ed. Note: Unfortunately I’ve seen many a divorcée wearing them around Rittenhouse...)
CharCo: If being sceney is your thing then, walking to DRL is perfect. The distance from Beige Block to 33rd & Walnut is JUST ENOUGH time to smoke a Marlboro Red. Plus, you’ll SABS way more during this trek than you would simply smoking a cig on a bench outside of VP.
Mylès: But you know what SABSing inevitably requires? Talking to people. If you walk to DRL, you’ll end up saying “hi-byes” to people you pretend to remember from freshman year. By Ubering to DRL, you can make a new friend, the driver. And haven’t you heard that friendship is the only ship that never sinks? You shouldn’t pass up this chance to make a real connection. The driver might even be your soulmate!
CharCo: Myles, are you telling me you’re one of those people? The kind who actually talks to his Uber driver?
Mylès: Not the point. Ubering to class means more and more chances to improve your Uber rating. And isn’t validation from Uber drivers what we’re really all in search of? Oleg, why don’t you like me? Charlena, didn’t I deserve a five?
CharCo: That might be true, but walking to DRL in the dead of winter will make you SO COLD that you’ll actually appreciate the warmth that DRL (sometimes) provides. So much so that you might even be motivated to actually participate in your Ling-001 recitation. Why yes, Einar, I’d love to draw my syntax tree from the problem set on the board!
Mylès: Yeah, but think about those clutch Uber drivers who shower you with free snacks during your ride. I once had an Uber driver who gave me Whoopie pies and free WiFi. I’ll never pass up an opportunity for free food.
CharCo: True, but Bui’s is on the way to DRL (sort of). Enough said.
Mylès: Yeah, but think of everything you can accomplish during the drive. You can catch five extra minutes of Pretty Little Liars, finish some last minute homework, take a power nap. The list goes on and on.
CharCo: Are you implying one can’t get shit done whilst on foot? I once secured a formal date, scored my 11th like on Insta, AND studied for a French quiz while on the way to Williams from my apartment.
Mylès: Look, we can all agree that DRL is one of the worst places there is. So why not enjoy a nice Uber ride when you can? It’s kind of like your last meal request, but with a car ride instead of an eggs benny.
CharCo: Fine, I suppose I’ll concede. But these arguments don’t apply to Lyft. Lyft is for plebs.
Have a preference? Let us know in the comments section below!