President-Re-Elect Gutmann To "Drain The Swamp"

After extending her term (reign) as Penn's president, Amy Gutmann is making "draining the swamp" a cornerstone of her policy moving forward. To accomplish this, she plans to drain the Bio Pond and fill it with Washington insiders.

In a statement, Gutmann told UTB that, "this Bio Pond thing is incredible, it really is. The stoners, they go there, in big numbers, huge numbers, the numbers are really that big. They smoke weed. It's tremendous."

Gutmann plans to drain the Bio Pond and promptly fill it with several Paul Ryans and Mitch McConnells. Many pundits believe that this may be a risky move, as McConnell looks an awful lot like a turtle.