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True Fan: College Junior Preemptively Sets Car on Fire Ahead of Eagles Game


Photo by Mstyslav Chernov CC BY-SA 3.0

The City of Brotherly Love is getting lit. 

At approximately 6:00pm EST, Jonathan Pallis (C '19) set fire to a 2005 Subaru Outback in preparation for tonight's Eagles/Vikings showdown. "I'm just so hype for the Birds," Pallis told UTB. "I'm from Philly, well, Radnor actually, and I feel like this is the year we make it all the way." Pallis, a few Yuenglings in, then proceeded to rip his shirt off and scream "Fly Eagles Fly" at the top of his lungs before promptly offering to fight anyone for any reason. 

Some of Pallis' peers have complained that he may have been a bit early to the arson-party. And Pallis recognized these concerns, saying, "win or lose, it's my duty as a proud Philadelphian to cause property damage. I'm just trying to expedite the process."

Like many Eagles fans, he had decided days ago that regardless of the outcome of the game, there was some havoc to be wreaked. "I'm actually running late, I have to go to the 15th Street SEPTA station and drunkenly scream at people," he told us before ending the interview.