SPEC Hopelessly Confused as to Why Penn Still in Competition, as 'Cardi B Isn't a Throwback?'
Photo from @Tinder via Twitter / Public Domain
April 10, 2018 at 5:47 pm
Finally, a sport we might be national champions in. Penn has made it to the in the Elite 8— of a nationwide, collegiate Tinder "swipe-off." Now, we're only two rounds away from finding out if 200 students get a free Cardi B concert on the last day of classes.
The swipe-off itself has caused some controversy, as hundreds of
salty white boys students have been left on read by others who are only using Tinder for Cardi.
Members of SPEC Concerts, however, weren't upset about the competition— they were honestly just confused about how Penn was still in it.
"First off, I think we all know there's about to be a pretty hip, cool, swingin', and jammin' concert happening just this weekend!" said a member of SPEC, who wished to remain anonymous, but not because she's embarrassed to be in SPEC; she really is really excited for fling. Really. "Why are people trying so hard to have this other concert so soon afterwards? Won't everyone still be hashtag-flingflangflung by then?"
The member also did not understand why Penn students seem so desperate for a good concert, with many downloading Tinder just to participate in the competition. "Why would anyone be that excited about Cardi B anyways?" she continued. "We all know Penn students like throwbacks, especially ones that haven't made music since 2011."
"Meanwhile, Cardi B just released an album and is quickly becoming one of the world's biggest names in rap," she sighed. "It just doesn't make sense."