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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will Brad Fuck Your Girlfriend at Fling?


Photo by Thomas / CC BY-ND 2.0

"You first, babe,” Jessica insists. You really can’t put your finger on it, but she’s been acting pretty weird tonight, too.

You know that you’re probably being set up or kidnapped or some shit, but your sense of self-preservation was long ago extinguished by your university. “Eh, what the fuck,” you say aloud to yourself. You take a deep breath of the fresh night air for perhaps the last time, pull open the basement doors, and take the plunge down the stairs.

It’s pitch black inside, and you can’t see anything. Suddenly, a light, and a crowd of faces peers eagerly at you. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” they scream, and you almost shit your pants. 

“THE FUCK,” you scream, your hammering heartbeat and the Four Loko not mixing well. 

“Oh, c’mon,” laughs Jessica, climbing down the steps behind you. “Don’t tell me you forgot today was your birthday?” She plants an affectionate kiss on your cheek. “Brad and I have been planning this party for weeks. Hope you like it!” 

You’re speechless. “Y-yeah, it’s great. I love it. Thanks.” You smile a sheepish grin at Jessica. After, you proceed to have one of the best nights of your life, surrounded by some of your closest friends. You have a long conversation with Brad and discover that he’s actually a pretty great guy. You guys are going to hit the gym together on Wednesday. 

When the night comes to a close, Jessica leads you home, and the two of you make sweet, sweet birthday love. 

Congrats! Brad didn’t fuck your girlfriend at Fling (and you did!)