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Inspiring! Woman Predicts Stimulus Check by Overspending $1200 Last Month


Photo by Petr Kratochvil / CC0

Local woman Jessica Newsome achieved the incredible feat of correctly predicting that Congress would approve a stimulus bill including individual payments of $1200 by overspending exactly that amount on her last credit card statement. 

While it is true that Newsome didn’t know what coronavirus was when making various online purchases, she nonetheless displayed truly prophetic abilities by ignoring her budget and assuming it would get dealt with later.

“I just saw these new mugs I wanted, and then some cute sandals, and I kind of went on from there,” said Newsome when asked why she spent so much. “None of the purchases were things I needed, but I guess I just kind of figured that it would all work out, and it's looking like it will. I'm just feeling blessed right now.”

Newsome is also a student at Penn, and in another odds-defying gamble, decided in January to take some time for herself and take a leave of absence this semester, ultimately avoiding paying thousands of dollars for now-online classes that are not only harder but also worse. 

“Yeah, now that I think about it, this global pandemic has actually worked out really well for me.”