Under the Button is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Choose Your Own Adventure: Will Brad Fuck Your Girlfriend at Fling?


Photo by Benjamin Davidson / CC BY 2.0

You love marshmallows, though you’re awful at roasting them. ‘Shit!!’ you think to yourself as your marshmallow suddenly erupts into flames. You lift it out of the fire and desperate try to put the fire out by shaking the stick in the air, but to no avail. You shake harder, and then the marshmallow flies off your stick, arcs into the air and lands squarely on Brad’s face. 

Brad lets out a shrill shriek of terror as molten, mushroomy goodness melts and melds with his face. Brad flails his arms out wildly, smacking Jessica squarely in the face as she tries to help; she’s knocked out cold. MERT is called, and, after 15 minutes of furious pedaling, they arrive on the scene. By this point Brad is reduced to whimpering on the ground. He and Jessica are carried off on stretchers.

You break your marshmallow stick into bits and throw into the fire as quickly and discreetly as possible. You leave the Magic Gardens with a dirty conscience and a body unmarred by marshmallow-induced scarring. 

Nice! Brad Didn’t Fuck Your Girlfriend at Fling (but neither did you…)