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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?


Photo by Jeremy Keith / CC BY 2.0

Addie closes her eyes and begins to lean in. Your fist leans in to meet her. Blood erupts from Addie’s nose. Addie howls in pain and grips her face with both hands to staunch the blood flow. While that Jezebel writhes in pain, you grab your Triscuits and sprint up the stairs. At the top, looking back at the hunched-over figure of your cousin, you hiss back down the steps, “This is what you get for fucking with my Triscuits.” And with that, you slam the basement door shut, condemning your cousin to darkness.  

Congratulations! You didn’t fuck your cousin and you successfully saved your Triscuits! 

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