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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?


Photo by DominÖ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Finally, this is the moment you’ve been waiting for: Addie was the first to set your loins on fire at the ripe, young age of thirteen, and now at last that primal, juvenile longing will be satiated. Did you lust after them because their features remind you of those of your father? (Yes.) Has this psychosexual desire manifested itself because your father’s emotionally distant attitude has created a lasting void that only cousin Addie can fill? (Yes.) Is it disturbing that you’re actively trying to have sex with your cousin? (Yes.) All these questions should give you pause, but alas, your lips are already on Addie’s. Nothing can save you now. 

Uh oh, you filthy little whore! You committed a crime against nature.

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