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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?


Photo by Marco Verch / CC BY 2.0

“Addie,” you say gently, “we need to maintain a six feet distance at all times. It’s necessary to prevent the spread of the virus.”

“Oh, silly me!” they giggle, not moving away from you. “I didn’t know that we were getting so close to each other for a moment! I’m glad that you’re looking out for our health and well-being.” Their eyes swell with adoration. You don’t have the heart to shoo them away again, so you let them stay near.

The two of you keep walking until you feel a gentle touch on your shoulder. “You know,” Addie begins, stopping you and casting their eyes demurely downward, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we kissed?” Their eyes find yours. “Just as a joke, you know? Like ‘haha, these two cousins kissed! Cousins aren’t supposed to do that!’—it would be hilarious. How about it?” They bite their lip in anticipation, their eyes searching your face for an answer. 

“Uh,” you begin. 

Dive into the street in front of a passing car.

Push Addie into the street in front of a passing car.