Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?

Addie starts to protest but you’re already halfway up the stairs. You feel as if there might have actually been something important in the closet, but frankly, at this point, you don’t really care. The world is burning anyway. It’s time to return to your middling daily ritual and continue watching Gilmore Girls, pretending that everything’s going well in the world.

You collapse on your bed. Addie bangs on the door trying to get your attention, but you ignore her. You get up and lock your bedroom door for good measure. You pop in your earbuds and continue thirsting over Luke — he’s such an asshole, but God, you’d cut yourself on that jawline any day.

Shame on you! Luke is literally the worst boyfriend on Gilmore Girls. And congrats on not fucking your cousin, I guess.

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