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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?


Photo by DominÖ / CC BY-SA 2.0

Addie shakes their head gently. “That’s too reductive of a term. Love should not be reduced to labels. Cousin couplings have been well-documented and commonly accepted throughout human history. In the last century alone, such esteemed personages as Albert Einstein, Saddam Hussein, and Rudy Giuliani married, and yes, perhaps even fucked, their cousins. I am of the belief that we are two of-age, responsible, capable adults who have sexual agency, and, given that your Mars is in Sagittarius and mine is Libra (I did research on our horoscopes) our passion and sexuality are extremely compatible. This theoretical sex will be pleasurable. For both of us.” Addie pierces you with their gaze. “Also this mandatory celibacy is killing me and I’m so fucking horny so please fuck me I’m begging you.

You are still morally opposed to incest. However, you, like your cousin, are incredibly horny. You shrug your shoulders. “Ok,” you say. Besides, what happens in quarantine stays in quarantine, right? … right?

 Uh oh! You were too horny to resist your cousin’s sexual advances!

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