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Choose Your Own Adventure: Will You Resist Your Cousin’s Sexual Advances in Quarantine?


Photo by Mr Thinktank / CC BY 2.0

“Addie, I think you’re pretty sexy,” you say, shivering as the words leave your lips. Your soul squirms in agony— these are words that you know cousins should never exchange. “Now,” you continue, “Please give me back my triscuits.” You extend your palm outward for your delicious little wheat children.

Addie viciously smacks your palm away. “Ah ah ah,” they tut like a disappointed school teacher. “You have to tell me that I’m sexy, not pretty sexy. Or, better yet, tell me that I’m pretty and sexy.” 

You grit your teeth. This is too much. “Ok fine, keep the fucking triscuits then. I’m going back to my room.”

“Not so fast, stud,” Addie crows. “You might want to check that closet over there.”

You look at Addie funny. “What?” you say.

Addie giggles. “Look in the closet. It’s really funny. I promise.”

Check the closet. 

 "Nah, I’m ok."