Dumb Freshman From California Reportedly "Excited" For Blizzard
(03/13/17 11:25pm)
It's only March, but we've already found a strong contender for Idiot of the Year.
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It's only March, but we've already found a strong contender for Idiot of the Year.
We reached out to Kathryn Bezella, a spokesperson for Dean Furda, to see what Furda and Kevin Hart were talking about at the 76ers game. We didn't expect to hear back, but we did. Bezella informed us, in the email above, that Furda told Hart that he has over 2,000 followers on Twitter. Hart laughed because he has 32 million (16,000 times more than 2,000).
An anonymous tipster (or two) sent us a video from the NBA YouTube channel, embedded below, in which Kevin Hart gets a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to spend time with an even bigger star. That star was, somehow, Dean of Admissions Eric Furda.
Here it is, everyone. We finally got our hands on a section of President Trump's transcript, and the contents are sure to make some waves. Check out his junior year transcript below, and we'll try to find his senior year transcript as soon as we can.
Crossing the street is probably one of the most dangerous things we do, a statement I am making with no statistical evidence. I don't drive a car at Penn, I don't engage in dangerous pastimes like skydiving or ultimate frisbee, and I keep a relatively healthy diet. Crossing the street is a necessary evil, to be sure, but I fear for my safety each time I dart across a cross-walk. Not just my safety, in fact, but my dignity too.
Pledging season is in full swing and, as usual, fraternities are going out of their way to welcome their new classes, sparing no expense to antagonize hopeful freshmen.
When Mike Rimble handed a classmate a pen, he knew what she was thinking. Her eyes widened and she shivered, slightly but noticeably, as their hands met. Mike, a Freshman in the College, was quick to dispel any misconceptions. "Sorry my hands are so wet, I just washed them but the bathroom was out of paper towels," he laughed nervously. She seemed doubtful, but smiled. Crisis averted.
Finally, the pictures from the last date night are here! Our photographer, Cory Richardson, did a great job creating exactly the look we wanted. He was worth the 2 grand!
Watching sports is fun when you are drinking, and incredibly boring when you are not. This game should give you an excuse to crush Natty Lights on a Sunday night, so check it out.
Groundhog Day is a tradition dating back as far as 1841, according to Wikipedia, and an affair which provided the basis for the popular 1993 film Groundhog Day, starring Bill Murray. Punxsutawney Phil, a groundhog (replaced often) from Punxsutawney, PA is treated as a meteorologist. Generally, he is expected to predict whether winter will continue for six weeks or spring will come early.
Just hours after Beyoncé announced that she's pregnant with twins, the superstar received more good news. Her unborn children have just been offered admission to the University of Pennsylvania, a significant break from the tradition of not accepting people until they formally apply, or at least until their parents write a sizable check.
This protestor, interviewed by the DP two years ago, apparently usually stakes his claim against "communists and atheists". Today, his sign was a little different. Although his sign still accuses Obama of dictatorship, at least the protestor is fair in accusing Trump of the same thing.