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While UTB was perusing PoliceOne.com, we struck gold—Penn’s police department is currently hiring police officers. Now, everyone’s dream of walking home that pretty lil' lady from writing seminar while feeding her a Wawa cherry-filled doughnut and "accidentally" tasering her "serious" boyfriend can come true. Oh, that's just our dream? That’s cool, we guess…
UTB understands the humiliation of riding in a taxi or “The Septa.” Our prayers for a form of transportation worthy of our fabulosity were answered last year when Uber came on the scene and allowed us to roll up to Rumor looking like Rick Ross. (who has aged quite gracefully, may we add. We digress.)
Just like an angsty high schooler, our beloved button is going through one of its phases again. We had the preppy phase when it wore that bright pink bow, the “sceney” phase when it kept hanging out with Tabard chicks, and the punk phase when it was covered in grafitti. From the looks of these muted floral prints, it appears that the button is going through its pseudo-hippie Anthropologie phase.
There must be some Voodoo-type ‘ish going on at Wharton, because their luck has gone from bad to worse.
Spring classes are up on Penn in Touch—As Socrates once said, "Dance like no one's watchin'!" (At least until October 21st when Advance Registration starts)
Just in time for bikini body season, HipCityVeg opened its doors yesterday at 214 S. 40th Street. (RIP Won Oriental--we miss you, sweet prince.)
Attention Penn Musicians--Tomorrow is the last day to enter the Blutt Band Slam, a competition for musically inclined Quakers to show their stuff during Homecoming Weekend. The winning act will receive $1000 donated by alum Mitchell Blutt, famous for his work as a physician-businessman totally unfunny name that does not all remind us of butts.