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Girl With 5 Hour Daily Screen Time Simply Does Not Have Time To Read Class Material

(10/18/21 3:15pm)

This is a really busy time in the semester. Midterms, homework, the stressful transition from your summer to fall wardrobe - it all piles up quickly. This makes it difficult to effectively manage your time between academics, extracurricular activities, your social life, and your screen addiction. Hanna (C ‘24) has been struggling with this exact problem. 


Six Outfits Warm Enough for Fall but Slutty Enough to Black Out In

(10/19/21 3:30pm)

Fall is here, and while some embrace the new season of fashion it brings, others struggle to balance their hot girl tendencies with the brutal Philadelphia chill. One of the leading causes of seasonal depression is, in fact, the cold temperatures that force all the girlies to put away their cute summer going out tops and bundle up (or risk freezing to death while waiting to get into a frat). But have no fear, hotties - this exhaustive list of fall outfits will keep you trendy, sexy, and toasty all season. 


'Good Work, Team' Says Guy in Your Recitation Who Ignored All Your Suggestions

(10/11/21 8:02pm)

One of the most beloved parts of any recitation is, of course, the breakout group. As Penn students, we are uniquely blessed with the presence of such brilliant classmates, and breakout groups offer us the opportunity to really pick their brains. After all, why discuss the readings from class with the TA, a Ph.D. student who has studied the subject for the past six years, when you could discuss it with Josh (C '24), the hungover guy sitting next to you who hasn’t opened the course Canvas page since syllabus week? 


REPORT: COVID Spit Tests Longer Than 20 Seconds Indicate Head Game Weak

(10/07/21 6:05pm)

An important new study conducted by the Perelman School of Medicine has established a correlation between the average time a person spends on a COVID saliva test and their performance while giving head. The study concluded that if it takes you longer than 20 seconds to fill that little tube with spit, your head game is most likely trash. 





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