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Meresa García


Articles


Student Unfortunately Cannot Locate G-Spot West

It probably doesn’t actually exist. 



'Penn Men's Center for the Straight Male' to Be Housed Across from ARCH

Only when the white cis-male is free can we all be free.


Boy Confused Why Scoring Delta Girl Bad

Brad had landed the hottest Delta babe ever.


30x30: 30 Hits for 30 Days

Go outdoors, get high, and take a mindful minute. 


If Nothing Matters, Then Why Am I So Important?

Even the Halal guy tells me that I am important. 


How the Bridge to 1920 Commons Inspired Miley’s Hit Single "The Climb"

Just mere cobblestones away: Commons. 


It’s Time Someone Colonized This Little Brown Girl

Good dick is good dick.


Student Stumbles Upon New Species of Locust Walk Tree

Is this a Magnolia tree? 


Political Triumph: Biden Cancels Students for Good!

#studentsareover



From Marriage Pacts to Engagement Days: Penn’s Promise of Everlasting Love

Absque amore est vita inutilia. Life without love is useless.


Frats Compete With Testing Sites for Larger Turnout

We're the only ones allowed to have large gatherings! 


Penn Party Denier Just Has Really Strong Cold

Literally, like literally, no parties have been going on whatsoever. 


Job Too Stressful: Amy to Self Care in NY

Take care of yourself bb <3


Sturdy Girl Looking for Well-Balanced Guy

Please send in a picture (FULL BODY!!!) and a brief description of yourself. Include BMI, favorite position, income, and list of daily vitamins. I promise that if you are the right fit, we will have an amazing time together :) 


Kate Gives Up for Lent

Holy life tip: just give up.


Sara Excited for Spring Break-Down

It's time to process that year long PTSD! 


Bill Gates? 5G? The Real Truth Behind DP+

Tracking Penn students is the DP's ultimate wet dream.


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