But how do you pronounce it? 

Santa can't get sick? Well guess what, neither can I! 

Have all this group assignments been for nothing? 

Who said chivalry is dead? 

After all the anti-immigrant rallies and cross burnings, how could it lean so left? 

Now all those poor little white heads with their spindly tails lay murdered at the bottom of her stomach!

This Thanksgiving, the 82-year-old grandmother is free of the running, screaming, and laughter of her shitty grandchildren.

Nationwide, Squirrels rejoice over the voluntary suffering of us wretched humans. While many of us may despise No Nut November, it is the biggest nutting season for these tiny rodents. 

Even after all these years, you're still so turned on right now, aren't you, you nasty lil' horn dog? 

An hour into my Physics midterm, I found myself in some guy's bed, knowing that I had a week to turn it in.

Amy Coney Barrett might hate the gays, but she sure does love minorities! 

People tell me that things could be worse ("you could have COVID!") and that I should pay attention to more pressing matters ("worry about the election!"). But the thing is, COVID is just a conspiracy and the election isn't even that important. The bond that I had with my mole was real. And I have lost it forever.  

"I just don't know how all these organizations are going along with this lie! And no one has contacted any of the clubs to ask if the shortage is real. Which it isn't! But I guess now, people are finally recognizing how important we are in keeping our democracy alive."

The light at the of the tunnel won't get here until May. You've still got about 200 days – give or take – of all-nighters, stress eating, and ugly crying. 

"I just want to feel her silicone presence beside me. I planned to consummate her arrival on election night, but now I'm not sure if we'll get our special evening!" 

I'm banking on the fact that Sir Lord Joestick's erections are numbered and that maybe, in the near future, we can all swim in the honeypot for a change. But till then, I'll just have to go with the prick that will at least give me a chance at finishing. 

 3. Are you so super fertile that you lay egg masses containing 50 of your disgusting, humanity-destroying offspring?

I quickly ordered my anti blue light glasses, but unfortunately due to the current mailing crisis, they won't get here for another month! I'm counting down the days until I can finally nut, Zoom free. 

"I only heard stories about it. It's passed down from generation to generation. The great myth of the literal shit head. I wouldn't have believed it myself if it weren't broadcast on live television!" 

Come one guys, it's not that hard to figure out! All you have to do is pull the elastic straps over your ears and cover your mouth. That's it! What's all this covering your nose bullshit?