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Sonia Feil


Articles

Self-Efficacy! CAPS Told Me To “Apply Myself”

That idea had literally never passed through my vapid little brain, so I’m really excited to try it out on my two presentations, six reflections, three final papers, and four exams due this coming week. 


Photo Essay: Penn Architecture Society's Building Beautification Proposal

The Penn Architecture Society suggests these alterations.


College Board: Wordle to Replace SAT

Many schools have already announced that they will be going Wordle-optional for the foreseeable future, including Ivy League schools, Brown and Cornell.


Quiz: How Do You Sleep At Night?

"3. I've just posted a story on Instagram that says "repost if you're against aggravated assault—I see who views this btw." What do you do?"


Thanks Guys! Penn Shortens Thanksgiving Break

“This makes things so much easier! My family is going to eat Thanksgiving dinner at the LAX P.F. Chang’s with me, then I’ll get right back on the plane and head back to Philly that night. Convenient!”


If I Don’t Wave At You On Locust, I Don’t Dislike You, I Hate You

People like to assume that when they don’t get a wave back it’s because the other person just didn’t see. Well I’m here to reassure you, I saw it.


Early And Often! How I Voted Nine Times Before 5 AM

 4:31am: Wrote in Pete Buttigieg for every position. He’s bound to get one of them.


Penn To 'Seriously Consider' Housing Students

We just haven’t decided yet. There are pros and cons to providing affordable housing, but mostly cons :( We also have no idea where we would make up the $2 million deficit in our $3.7 billion annual budget.


Reclaimed! ONLY Women Allowed To Be In Kitchen, Eat

We expect the male population to fully die off within the next few months. From there, we will procreate with each other using IVF.


How To Gentrify Your Roommate’s Side of the Room

Rent her bed out to your much wealthier, whiter Drexel friends.



Gutmann to Become Ambassador to Germany, Pending Final Grade in GRMN-104

Gutmann has already packed twelve Michael Kors bags full of dirndls and pantsuits, and she now only responds to “Präsidentin Gutmann.”


Amy Gutmann Wins Every Single Event in The Penn Relays For Second Year In Row

Through urine testing and vehement denial, Gutmann seems to have successfully distanced herself from the allegations of doping that were raised last year. 


Spring Stay? More Like Spring Slay

Honestly, I feel like the break was a little bit too long if you know what I mean… like for a second there I almost stopped thinking about the ten midterm assignments I have to turn in by Monday.


Op-Ed: That’s Cool, But Did I Ask?

Omg bestie that’s like totally exciting and I’m like super happy for you... but tbh it’s kinda tmi and I don’t remember asking?


This Quiz Will Tell You Which Dorm You're Living In!

Let us know if we got it right!


Heartwarming! Ted Cruz Boiled Mexican Tap Water In Solidarity

“It means a lot to me,” says Texas native, Sammy Rodriguez (W ‘23). “You know, my family in Austin has been really struggling to stay warm and find drinkable water, so to see Senator Ted Cruz take 5 minutes out of his vacation time to boil a pot of water is truly heartwarming. I’m sure it’ll mean a lot to my family too once their power comes back on.” 


Vaccine Rollout Stops Immediately Due to Shocking Success of PennOpen Pass

By foregoing vaccination altogether, Philadelphia city officials report with near certainty that they will not be able to mishandle another vaccine distribution attempt.


World-Renowned Astrophysicist Still Can’t Figure Out How to Screenshare Over Zoom

Students in Klaus’ classes report that what were once weekly breakdowns have now become daily episodes of Professor Klaus lashing out at his computer. “I’ve tried every route imaginable to resolve this issue,” said Klaus, tearing up. “I have disassembled and then reassembled my NASA-grade computer no fewer than 15 times.”


International Student Develops Night Vision

The only problem is that the student is now so sensitive to daylight, he plans to stay at home for the Spring semester. But who are we kidding, that’s what all of us are doing anyways.


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