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How To Celebrate 420 If You Don't Smoke

April 20th: the Weed Day baby!! There are conflicting stories on the origins of the holiday, but one thing is for sure: today is the day to take in copious amounts of green, because it says so on the calendar. For many, this is a blessing. For others? A curse. Never fear, though. If you don't smoke, there are plenty of other ways to celebrate.

  • Call your uncle

Just say what's up. April 20th is as good a day as any to strengthen familial bonds.

  • Call the police every time you see or smell marijuana

Fuck you.

  • Pay your respects to the humble lima bean

It's also National Lima Bean Respect Day, apparently.

  • Go swimming

Swimming is easier on the joints than running or biking, and you know 420 is all about joints.

  • Conduct serious chemical research and make a discovery that elevates humanity to a higher plane

I mean, someone has to do it, and everyone else is stoned.

  • Do a trick on a skateboard


  • Build a time machine and go back nine months to get pregnant or to impregnate someone so that your child is born on 4/20, also known as the Weed Day, aka The 24 Hours For Total Marijuana Consumption, aka Weednesday.

This is a gift to your unborn child.

  • Eat a lemon

Yikes! That's sour. It's a good thing to have done at least once, though.

  • Just smoke marijuana

Everyone's doing it, which means you should too. Your friends will think you're a coward if you don't take a puff. It's not even bad for you. In fact it cures cancer and stops the aging process, according to Yahoo Answers. Why do you think Seth Rogen is sooo rich? Because of the all the weed he smokes. President Obama smoked in college and now look at him. His first name is "President."