David Akst

Cute: This Professor Assigns Reading for His Lecture Class

You're students, he imagines, so you're here to learn. Right?

Frontera Is Closing, and of Course It Will Take Months

Frontera takes a month to make a sandwich, so really, all things considered, it's pretty impressive that they might be able to close entirely within just a few months. The scariest part about Frontera closing is that it's possible that they'll close before finishing someone's meal.

WHARTON RANKED BEST BUSINESS SCHOOL. WHARTON RANKEDK BEST HUSINESS SHCOOL. WHARTON RANKEBEST BUSINESS SCHOOL.

THE UNIVERSITY OF PENNSYLVANIAS WHARTON SCHOOL AWAS NAMED THE COUNTRY'S TOP FULLTIE MBA PROGRAM IN THE 2020 US NEWS AND WORLD REPORT'S ANNUAL RANKING.

You're Welcome: Here Are 12 Free Sentences You Can Just Drop Right Into Your Essay

Don't worry about plagiarism or anything; you have my permission to just fling these into your work willy-nilly.

Weird: Kevin is Going Home for Spring Break and He's Not Even Poor

Kevin isn't poor. I mean, I've met his parents. His dad is kind of ugly and his mom is hot, so yeah, I bet he's rich.

Report: Gutmann and Biden Will Make Small Talk for an Hour on Stage, and You'll Love It

The conversation should last for around 15 or 20 minutes, depending how much mileage the two can squeeze out of their initial weather conversation.

Classes Canceled After Problematic Tweets Surface from Early 2010s

The History Department tweeted "There just aren't that many important women in history. Sorry feminists." in August of 2011. Like many of its tweets, the post did not garner significant reactions. It has since been deleted.

OP-ED: Amy Gutmann Isn't Muslim, but I'd Have No Problem With It if She Was

In this hyper-polarized climate, in which people (especially Muslims) are viewed far too often with contempt, scorn, or fear, it's important to be an ally. Today I am officially declaring that if Penn's president Amy Gutmann was Muslim, I would be totally cool with it.

OP-ED: If Amazon Won't Gentrify Queens, I Will

It is my duty to move to a neighborhood with fast-casual dining options, some warehouses for art or music performances, and streets that are dirty enough to be interesting but not dirty enough that I mess up my Common Projects.

OP-ED: I'm Only Working as a Private Military Contractor for a Year Before Law School

The hours are long, the work is thankless, and sometimes the morality isn't clear, but is being a mercenary really so different from consulting?

Group of Penn Geologists Discover Massive Underground Cave System in Minecraft

The group's biggest concerns are griefers, hackers, and creepers. But so far, so good. 

Genius: Wharton Grads' Startup Is the Warby Parker of Fingerless Gloves

"There are countless people in the world who need the warmth of a glove but demand the agility of bare fingers. When you buy a pair of Dexter Gloves, you'll know that you're helping someone else be able to play the guitar or use a touch screen in moderately cold weather."

Penn Intramural Polo League Off to Slow Start

The league is looking for folks who have three to six horses and three friends who also have three to six horses.

Amy Gutmann Finally Denounces Logan and Jake Paul

On behalf of the Penn community, I vehemently condemn their actions over the last two years, and implore you to unsubscribe and down-vote their videos. 

OP-ED: Can I Try on Your Glasses?

Penn Scientists Spent $16 Million Trying to Create a Real-Life Puss in Boots. How Did It Go So Wrong?

Crime Log: October 18-24