PennVet Student Masturbates Horse on National Television

If you thought Veterinary school was all about tricking a stallion into ejaculating into a fake horse vagina, then wow, you were 100% right.

Penn researchers took voyeurism to an entirely new level when they attempted to collect potentially valuable semen from a 1200 pound white stallion on Life at Vet U, an Animal Planet series documenting the tortured (kinky?) lives of PennVet students. It’s difficult not to shed a tear watching the protégé, Max, achieve his dreams. And what better content for a national audience than a bright-eyed aspiring veterinarian wrestling a super-sized sex toy over the shaft of an unsuspecting animal?

In the captivating, Emmy-worthy sequence, Semenbiscuit is pumped up and ready to procreate after getting just a small whiff of mare urine (classic Cosmopolitan tip to drive your man wild). Then, he begins humping a dummy while the real horse is right next to him. C’mon, bro. Fortunately for splooge-dude Max, this provides the necessary situation to collect the goods in a precisely-heated artificial vagina weight, or AVW for short. Rad!

As with any sexual encounter, the weaker participant (in this case, the human) wore a protective vest and helmet.

Max, we thank you for your service. It's a dirty job, but apparently someone has to do it.