After indicting former Penn Basketball coach Jerome Allen for accepting bribes to recruit a student, the Department of Justice set their sights on another case, this one involving Tate Dentworth (W '20), the only member of the men’s swim team who wears flotation devices when competing.
“We don’t really know where to go, but I love German art. We’re big museum guys. This is great,” he lied. The group plans to tour the Berlin nightlife, but has only a faint understanding of the club scene.
We have yet to determine to what extent, if any, they feel pain.
While most research suggests that consuming alcohol in any amount is detrimental to a person’s health, Adkins feels it’s her duty to make the most of college, be it in the form of tequila on Tuesdays, Sink or Swim on Wednesdays, or drinking her weight on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays.
Trash pickup is conveniently close, utilities are free, and pets are not only allowed but also included with the lease.
Ja Rule simply stated that Fling 2019 will be "Fyre."
The sheer number of consultants working in ten years will necessitate that they work for each other.
According to this statement, the roughly 40,000 evaluations were assigned to Steven Fitzgerald, a former student intern at Penn’s Center for Teaching and Learning.
No longer would she have to fret as the bouncers inspected her fake, which they would hold up to the light while they asked for the capital of Delaware.
Progressives around campus are applauding Penn for finally agreeing to compensate the elves who manually coordinate course registration with $15 an hour for their work.
The findings support previous research which concluded that students value “clout” roughly 10 times more than social impact.
"Just wait until I bust out John Locke’s social contract theory after Uncle Jeffrey tries to argue about illegal immigration."
“There was a lot of pressure to sign the lease before November,” Rodriguez said.
The service would pick up and drop off ballots for students for only $9.99, traveling distances as far as 0.2 miles (the furthest any student is from a polling location).
Local hero Dana Klein (C ’20) had both the environment and her roommate’s wellbeing in mind last Thursday when she left her dirty pan on the stove after cooking a somehow-burnt batch of scrambled eggs.
Hey, friend. I see you’ve finished the problem set due tomorrow.
A recent survey conducted by the Penn English Department found that over half of their undergraduate majors could not spell “Schuylkill,” a finding which calls into question the quality of education English majors receive at the school.
Like if you didn't McSee that one coming!
In an unprecedented display of charity, an anonymous donor has gifted the College of Arts and Sciences a 23-year-old Windows computer—the largest gift in the school’s history.
Constantly reminding all those in attendance of his impending midterm, Wharton junior Daniel Evans was the star of the pregame last Thursday, dazzling peers with his incredible display of courage, mental fortitude, and clear-cut decision making.