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Wow! Sophomore Plans the Most Depressing Valentine's Day of All Time

Credit: Public Domain

University of Pennsylvania SEAS sophomore Vignesh Patel, who has spent the past 48 hours in Moore 100, is currently planning the most depressing Valentine's’ Day of all time, sources tell UTB.

Patel, who is currently taking 3 CIS courses, 2 math courses, 1 physics course and 1 engineering ethics course, claims that he’s “totally fine” spending Valentine’s Day by himself. “As long as my code compiles and I get my problem sets done, I have all I really need!” he stated emphatically.

Patel says that Valentine’s Day has always been a tricky time for him, but this year he’s planning to turn things around. “Every year, I would see my friends going out with their significant others, giving each other chocolate and sending heart-shaped balloons... but this year, things are gonna be different. I'm just avoiding my friends and peers, so I don’t need to worry about that sort of stuff anymore!”

With regard to his previous romantic relationships, Vignesh said, “Well, there was this one girl in my CIS 160 class last semester. But unfortunately, I couldn’t PROVE my love to her…. Haha… hah. Do you get it?”

Despite his disappointing romantic situation, Patel claims that he’s engineered a great plan for the day of the 14th. “It’s gonna be a fun day,” he said. “I’ve got some great activities lined up. My laptop and I are gonna go for a nice, long walk down to DRL. Maybe grab a bite together at the food truck! And then, later, we’ll stay up all night together like we always do.”

When asked if he has any plans to ask someone out, Patel responded “I’m working on a clever program that allows me to do that. It’s still in progress, but I’m looking forward to unveiling it at the next PennApps!”

“I’m definitely gonna have a nice, peaceful Valentine’s Day,” he assured us about the unbearably grim little day that he has planned.

If anybody wishes to spend Valentine’s Day with Vignesh, he says that you should be able to find him “aimlessly roaming the Towne building in search of a laptop charger”.