Seven Victorian Insults to Unleash Casually at Penn

1. "Silence, you church bell!" for the girl in your class who did not do the reading but insists on participating by telling a related personal experience

2. "Hush, Whooperup!" for an overzealous member of the a cappella community

3. "Good riddance, mutton shunter!" for people in M&T who remind you they're in M&T

4. "Hornswoggler!" for the person who took your sushi bowl and set off a chain of sushi bowl errors

5. "Reveal yourself, Haymarket Hector!" for creepy frat boys lurking in the shadows

6. "Decrepit bald-head!" for you lame friend who won't drink with you for trivial reasons like an exam or an interview the next day

7. "Away, you mumbling cove!" for the man who offers you a copy of the DP even though you are already visibly holding a copy of the DP