Lauren Sorantino


Articles

5 Notebooks That Will Stay Together Better Than Your Spring Break Plans

We all know your spring break plans are going to eventually fall apart, but that doesn't mean everything in your life has to as well. UTB has compiled a list of five sturdy notebooks that will stay together despite the fact that they have a paper due the Monday after spring break. 


"I'm So Busy I Barely Have Time to Eat," Says Student Who Drinks 7 Days a Week

By the time I tend to my midterms, improv practice, my work-study job, improv shows, and maintaining my hilarious Twitter brand, I barely have time to eat.


Study: 99% of Freshman Year Trauma Unearthed at the Feb Club First Toast

Reasons participants cited for experiencing trauma included seeing freshman year hookups, roommates, and former friends they’ve avoided eye contact with over the past few years.


Short King! This Girl Is Taking E.T. to Her Date Night

She fell for him freshman year when she saw him riding down Spruce in a children's bike basket.


Parents of Girl Sitting in Class in Front of You Paying $70,000/Year for Her to Text Ben from ZBT

“We talk about Smokes, what he’s eating for lunch, mixers, and…Smokes."


Selfish Friend Fails to Accommodate Lucy’s Busy Pledging Schedule

Since when does being unaffiliated with Greek life also mean being inconsiderate?


Clogs Now Required to Enter the Kelly Writers House

This rule may seem extreme; however, when it is actually enforced in the Fall, it will change very little. Studies from the last four years show that on average, 98% of people in the Writers House at any given time were sporting clogs. 


Didn't Get Tapped for a Senior Society? Here's How to be Better, You Fucking Loser

Didn't get tapped for a senior society? Don't worry, we've got you. Here's how you can snag that tap in no time flat. 


Ego of the Week: The Mop at Rumor

The Ego of the Week this week is the Rumor nightclub mop. UTB sat down with the mop and heard all about the mop's role in the bustling Philadelphia clubbing scene, the mop's passions, and more!













PennConnects