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Biden Having Trouble Settling Into Freshman Year


DP File Photo

Yikes. Is this guy new?

Former Vice President and new big man on Penn's campus Joe Biden showed his inexperience when he hit the Penn Bookstore earlier today to purchase all his textbooks for full price. Buying textbooks before school has even started? What if he drops the course? What if they aren't really required? Why didn't he look for a better deal?

This is only the latest in a series of highly "freshman year" moments involving Biden. On the first night of NSO, he spilled a cup in pong and tried to put it back and keep playing. Just days ago he jettisoned his traditional, mature wardrobe in favor of fifteen brand new Under Armour athletic t-shirts with "PENN" emblazoned across the chest. He even carries his PennCard on a lanyard around his neck. But as much as he acts like a freshman, he still isn't fitting in.

This year might be considered Biden's freshman year at Penn. His position was announced in February, and he's currently in the midst of his first NSO. In many ways, he's just like many other freshmen: wealthy, a Pennsylvania native, a fan of aviator sunglasses. The differences? He's 74, married, and used to be the Vice President of the United States.

Sources say that Biden's granddaughter Naomi, who graduated in 2016, is doing her best to help him feel comfortable at Penn. "It's still hard for him," a person close to the family told UTB. "He feels weird about taking advice from his granddaughter, but he needs it. He hasn't been in college since the 1960s. He's trying to use Tinder to make friends, but everyone thinks his account is fake."

Freshmen who have met Biden seem to like him, but feel like he isn't quite one of them. 

"He's a nice guy, don't get me wrong," said Lincoln Thomas, a freshman in the College. "But it's weird to sit with him in the dining hall. All he wants to talk about is politics. We get it, man. You know Barack Obama. That's cool. We want to talk about Backpack Kid from Instagram, though, and he doesn't know anything about it."

In a brief chat on the way to Commons, Biden told us that he has some friends from his hall but that he's not sure if they'll be his friends forever.

"Do they like me because I'm fun to hang out with, an interesting guy," former Vice President Joe Biden mused, "or just because I'm old enough to buy them beer?"

Minutes before press time, Biden was seen calling his friend Barack to see if he'd transfer to Penn.

For more Biden content, click here or here.