Missed Connections: September 20-27
September 27, 2017 at 1:10 am
You shuffled into our Caesar class just about a minute late. Your glasses steamed up and your upper lip shone with moisture. I wanted to pull my handkerchief out of my bag and give it you, but I'm too shy. And sweaty. Let's get physically (and emotionally) sweaty together sometime soon.
Me, a demure youth struggling to finish a statistics problem set in the early hours of Friday morning in the VP basement. You, a silly boy sprawled out under a makeshift blazer blanket, gently snoring on the couch in said basement. Can I make it anymore obvious?
"Booty Calls" Can Lead to Unplanned Children
Dear Young Man who commented with a Peach Emoticon on my Granddaughter's Facebook picture,
I wrote in to the school paper today to let you know that you're engaged in very questionable behaviors. The Today Show told me about these secret sex emojis, and I won't stand for it. Although Mia unfriended me on Facebook yesterday for commenting too much on her photos, I know that she'll appreciate me one day, even if it is only after I'm dead. I read on the internet that you go to Penn too, and I bet you read this unholy excuse for a publication. Your profile picture is a blurry one of you in a party setting with light streaks in the back, which leads me to further question your character. Please do not contact my family any further.
A Concerned Grandmother (C '66)