Five Bad Movies To See Over Fall Break Instead of Finally Watching Moonlight
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October 5, 2017 at 1:03 pm
Have you been "meaning to watch" Moonlight for the twelve months since it premiered but somehow haven't gotten around to it? Same! Here are five bad films you can fill your free time with this fall break, so you can continue to postpone watching Barry Jenkins' groundbreaking, critically-acclaimed story of self discovery.
1. Mother! - This movie will likely prompt the resurgence of many of your most repressed concerns, as well as a new stress rash. How fun! At least seeing it will allow you to sound like a cynical film connoisseur in your cinema class when your professor asks for critiques of this collage of anxieties.
2. The Emoji Movie - Still not sure how this "movie" has a plot, or how it was even allowed to become a movie in the first place. The film's impressive 10% Rotten Tomatoes score, as well as its creatively mean NYT review (which calls it "perverse" and "nakedly idiotic") solidify The Emoji Movie's status as a perfectly bad movie.
3. The Very Hungry Caterpillar - Somehow your favorite childhood book is now on Netflix, and it's film adaptation has little to offer to you. It could be the story's jarring narration by a loud, older British man, or it could be the fact that this story was meant to be stimulating exclusively to those under the age of 6.
4. Suicide Squad - No need to explain this one.
5. Grease - A cornerstone of the heteronormative and sexist film canons. Nothing will make you seethe with feminist rage and reflect on abhorrent 1950s fashion like this classic movie!