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Frat Bartender Busted for Serving Freshmen Dirt-Cheap Rum When They Asked for Dirt-Cheap Vodka


Photo by George Hodan / Public Domain; Wjdpr / CC BY-ASA-3.0; Miika Silfverberg / CC BY-SA-2.0 (with edits)

Just when you thought it was safe to party again.

Last weekend, Penn Police arrested sophomore Brandon Wilson on charges of serving dirt-cheap rum to minors when they asked for a different variety of dirt-cheap alcohol instead.

“We are committed to keeping students safe,” commented the arresting officer. “When they request one poorly-mixed drink and receive a slightly different poorly-mixed drink, their security is at risk.”

Wilson claims he was doing the freshmen a favor. “They would ask for vodka and coke. Vodka and coke? I mean, come on. It was embarrassing. Please let me go.”

Many affected freshmen confirmed that they could not taste the difference between one shitty alcohol and another. “We have no idea what we’re doing,” said all of them.