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Yogurt Parfait Review: Delicious, Until a Bug Flew Into My Mouth


Photos from Pixnio (CC0) and Umberto Salvagnin (CC 2.0)

The Fresh Grocer yogurt parfaits feature a sizable quantity of vanilla yogurt topped with plump blueberries, tart raspberries, and a layer of crunchy granola.

The yogurt was smooth and sweet. Thankfully, it was not Greek yogurt, which I think tastes like curdled gasoline. The berries were plump, fresh, and added color to the presentation. The granola had a robust crunchiness, which prevented it from becoming soggy in the yogurt. Overall, it was a superb parfait.

Then a bug flew into my mouth.

The texture of the bug was horrible. Its brittle exoskeleton shattered in my mouth, leaving flaky pieces of thorax and abdomen that got stuck in my teeth. The insides of the bug congealed into an unsavory mush, which made the parfait into a hellish guessing game of blueberry or insect. I hoped this mouthfeel might at least complement the granola. I was wrong— the shards of bug body were still readily apparent.

The flavor of the bug was also awful. It tasted like mixing every color of paint together, leaving a horrible grayish-brown in the mouth. Even coated with layers of decadent vanilla yogurt, I could still taste the acrid insect flavor. Then came the aftertaste: a horrid record of all the animal carcasses and fecal matter the bug ate in its pathetic life. I suspect that if coated in salt and roasted like an almond, this bug might have tasted a little better. But in its current form, it had no business being in this parfait or in my mouth.

This Fresh Grocer yogurt parfait had incredible potential. But my enjoyment was cut down in its prime by the entrance of a bug into my oral cavity. Given such a promising starting point... it is baffling why Fresh Grocer chose to introduce a bug to the recipe.

Fresh Grocer Yogurt Parfait (with bug in mouth): 1/5 stars