We're going to take Locust today. It's going to be fine.

Brandon’s been in bed for so long today, you better hope the soft part of his skull didn’t get dented.

While the test subjects are smoking both day and night, it seems that their minds are especially free at night.

Dr. Blum is a real doctor, a surgeon. He doesn’t do cosmetic procedures.

Though details are still being finalized, likely events include a furries happy hour and a night at a BDSM club in Atlantic City.

They are practically inseparable. They eat, sleep, and even bathe together!

For the rest of his life, Patrice’s degree in English will be a signal to all that he is a well-read man of letters, capable of discussing a wide range of literature in detail.

Morozov inhales tar deep into her lungs as often as she can.

Witnesses report that the scarf began slowly inching its way up, enveloping her neck, then face, and soon her entire head. 

Though their comments were hard to understand due to the speakers’ gargling of crude oil, attendees were reminded that the University investment portfolio represents a diversified range of interests designed to ensure Penn’s fiscal sustainability.

When appraisers first noticed the 11 inch by 11.5 inch rectangle of grassy dirt, the University community was shocked to learn that something like that still existed.

Gutmann and the Board of Trustees have sought to boost erotica consumption through the Power of Porn campaign.

45 percent thinner than existing toilet paper, the new design replaces the existing single ply with the equivalent of a half ply.

The metal underbelly of his MacBook frigid against his sensitive thigh skin, Ryan Glover (C ’19) struggled to operate his laptop computer while on the toilet yesterday.

As Jocelyn Zhao (W ’21) walked to 30th Street Station to catch a train Monday afternoon, she was struck by the observation that Drexel University’s campus is “actually kinda nice.”

When Noah Levinson was asked to his current hookup’s sorority date night, he was nervous. 

The fancy, decadent man you share a house with is currently brewing espresso with his expensive, highly-specialized device.

I thought it’d be fun to take one tonight. Let’s really have a night, you know? Well, you know how I get when I do stimulants.

After just a few nibbles of his food, Michael quickly felt an unsettled shift in his guts.

People are advised to avoid the scene until further notice.