Trump Claims Penn Degree Proves Intelligence but We Know Several Dumb People Here

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Photo by Gage Skidmore / CC BY-SA 2.0

This past Wednesday, President Donald J. Trump again referenced his Penn education in an effort to correct the popular opinion that he is “a moron." 

“I went to an Ivy League college,” he said in the interview. “I’m a very intelligent person.”

Although it is factually accurate that Donald Trump graduated from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, his claims of intelligence have since been called into question. UTB especially does not believe that his degree serves as any sort of evidence, as we know SEVERAL dumb people here.

Penn, an Ivy League school founded in 1740 by Benjamin Franklin, is home to many dumb people. For example, freshman Lauren Williams (C '21) told us that multiple people in her hall attempted to cover up the pungent aroma of weed with two full bottles of Febreze. “You’d think that one day they’d figure out that doesn’t work," she said. "Now our hall just smells like clean linens and weed. That’s some really dumb shit.”

Although there are no dumb-dumbs on staff at UTB aiding in the production of our thought provoking pieces, Penn has multiple morons wandering the hallowed halls of this institution. This past November, UTB met a student who could not figure out how doors work. Dumb. 

Fellow Penn alumni have questioned Trump's intelligence, citing the fact that he may not have actually been top of his class at Wharton.

Penn Admissions hopes that, in the future, admitted students will be of a higher caliber with respect to intelligence, but for now they are honest about the mixed showing among students and alumni. “Look, not everyone we've admitted has been the brightest star in the sky. Penn was home to the brilliant Elon Musk, but we’ve also had some orange duds who blame all of America’s problems on immigrants and plan to cut back on basic environmental regulations,” said an admissions representative. “Hopefully, the Class of 2022 will be a home run.”

The representative declined to say which alumnus he was referencing in the above quotation.

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