Zete knew this day was coming.

The news comes amidst reports of immigration raids at Columbia University, where students are allegedly being detained for involvement in pro-Palestinian protests, speaking Arabic in public, or otherwise looking vaguely ethnic.

Do you remember that time when we were with our friends walking on Locust and someone farted (not me) and you loudly exclaimed “chocolate’s getting cooked in the Hershey factory!!!” and everyone laughed. Shut up bro, they call me Hershey now. 

Vaping is bad for you.

Marketing professor Barbara Kahn put it plainly: "I don't know what the fuck they were thinking."

Your favorite yapper’s favorite yapper

He now goes by Shaikh J.(Jamal) Al-Latif Jaabir

“I haven’t called someone out by their initials on Sidechat in almost three days! I think I’m going through withdrawal.”

In a time of growing campus unity, someone needed to remind the student body that love is the only answer. Obviously, that someone was me. 

It’s sure to come in first place at this year’s national cum fossil convention.

Is Charlotte the Virgin Mary of aquariums, or just a freaky lil gal...

I don’t know about you guys, but my money's on Fred the alcoholic. I heard that guy can pound ‘em back like there’s no tomorrow!

I’d rather listen to my dentist perform a root canal using some rusty drill

Huntsman is no stranger to diversity, boasting several years of global ambassadorship under his belt and more impressively and relevantly, an LDS mission to Taiwan

Every time you fell, you got up again

Kinda crazy no one else thought to do this

We at UTB have amassed a core set of caring techniques for those with roommates who get no play

She was eating boiled potatoes and some sort of dried fish. Gross. Damn. It was like 10:00am.

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