Wow, Celebrities Came to Penn! Here’s Where They Pooped

It’s always a treat to have celebrities visit — or even better, attend — our very attractive and popular institution. Every time a Penn alum is in the news, it's cause to lose your fucking shit. And because we were so interested in where celebrities lived, here's the logical follow-up, spilling the beans on where these celebrities pooped on campus.

John Legend: Irvine Auditorium. As a student, Legend frequented the piano in Irvine Auditorium for more than just creating music. Rumor has it, it’s the key to his rich, beautiful sound.

Benjamin Franklin: Ben on a Bench. Someone had to start the tradition, right?

Joe Biden: The floor of Perry World House, just to show how much he doesn’t care about any of you.

Nicolas Cage: Penn Museum. Who knows what he was doing around ancient artifacts?

Elon Musk: Hovering over Baltimore Avenue as a test for Tesla vehicles' new Shit Sensing™ technology.

God: The sixth floor of Van Pelt, because where else would He go?

Amy Gutmann: No data. Every time nature calls, Amy takes a private jet to an exclusive New York City restroom.

Sources: Stuart Watson / CC BY-SA 4.0; Steve Jurvetson / CC 2.0; Georges Biard / CC BY-SA 3.0; Thatcher Hullerman Cook / CC BY-SA 2.0; Public Domain; Public Domain; Public Domain