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Serial Killer and LinkedIn Aficionado Bond Over Hobby of Collecting Humans


Photo from Pixabay / CC0

Jonathan Lin (W '19) has a passion for LinkedIn. With 500+ connections, a premium membership, and 78 endorsements for the skill "Leadership," Lin has LinkedIn on lock.

We asked Lin what drives him. "Honestly, I just really love acquiring people for my professional network," said Lin. "Whenever I see someone I even vaguely know, I send them a connection request. My motto is 'collecting, not connecting.'"

Lin laments that few friends understand his passion, and even fewer believe that it actually counts as a hobby. But while volunteering at a prison last month—primarily so he could list "prison reform" under "Causes Jonathan Care About"—Lin finally met a kindred soul. Bobby Maylander, a serial killer convicted of murdering fourteen people and stashing their bodies in a basement in his freezer, understood Lin's feelings immediately.

"People ask me how I got into the serial killing business," said Maylander. "It's simple, really. Killing and preserving people lets you keep them around forever. You can show off how many people you've brutally axed, and the more bodies you collect, the more reputable you become as a skilled murderer."

"It's all about the size of your collection and being diligent about adding to it," agreed Lin. "Bobby and I are really the same at heart, using people as a mere means."

"Besides the murder part, though," he added, laughing nervously.