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OP-ED: Have You Met My Menchy Grandson Jacob?


Photo by Rennett Stowe / CC 2.0

Hi my sweet shaina punem. You must be Esther’s granddaughter. Oh, you’re not? Do I know your grandmother? Oh, we’ve never met? Oh I’ve never met you? Or anyone in your family? Well, we’ll have to play canasta some time together won’t we. You’re so sweet. Isn’t she so sweet? Such a little sweetie.

I know you’re relaxing by the pool on your PenninBocaRaton exchange program from college, but can I interrupt for just a moment? Have you met my grandson Jacob? You know, Jacob is my menchiest grand child. Just a good kid. I think you would really like him. Oh where is he? Oh he lives in Ontario Canada and never plans on coming to the United States, but I’m sure you’ll meet at some point… he went to Ramah!

My Jacob is just so smart. He knows so much about what’s new. The other day he was telling me about these, um, I think they were called Yugiohs. He knows so much about Yugiohs.

Here let me show you a picture of him. Ok… someone told me how to do this. Siri. Siri.

Siri. Find pictures of Jacob.

My Grandson Jacob.

Oh this thing never works. Here we go. Here’s Jacob at his softball game. You think he looks young? I think he looks so old for the fifth grade. Anyway I’ll let you get back to your r&r, but here’s his number just in case you want to plan the wedding. How do I find his number again?