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‘Sorority Rush Sucks,’ Laugh Fraternities Competing for Approval of 18-Year-Old Boys


Photo by docmonstereyes / CC BY 2.0

A few days after sorority recruits were celebrating their bids, fraternity members were heard mocking the Panhellenic process while simultaneously competing for the approval of their 18-year-old male rushes.

“Sorority rushes have to wait in the cold and visit every organization on campus,” commented fraternity brother Thaddeus Wesley (C '20), immediately before attempting to impress a rush with his house’s new refrigerator devoted exclusively to Natty. “And the sisters sing incredibly obnoxious songs to welcome the rushes,” he said, raising his voice to be heard over the repetitive chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug!" and the sound of brothers coughing up liquor.

While sorority rush lasts approximately five days, fraternity rush often continues for over a week, giving fraternities ample time to show off to freshmen who refer to any alcohol in glass bottles as "fancy." Meanwhile, according to brothers, sororities barely get to know their rushes in their short time span. 

When asked to recall the names of the freshmen at their event the previous night, however, many brothers confessed they were too drunk to remember. "It was so lit though," one brother said. "We'll get kids from all over. New York, California, and New York state too."