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We Can Really Have It All: Student 'Still Shopping' For Classes Has Successfully Ripped Through The Twin Peaks Reboot and Gotten 8 Hours of Sleep Nightly


From Pixabay / CC0 

Sarah Tabbert (C '18) has not registered for a single class. She has emailed potential professors letting them know that she's interested in taking their classes (no response from the PSYC 001 professor, though). She's still deciding between a few classes. In the time between what others call "the start of the semester" and the end of add period — the real start to the semester for Tabbert — this Penn Senior lives her fullest life. 

In a sit-down interview with this work-evading master, Tabbert let us know that the start to the semester was going just as planned. Eventually she will need to register for classes to fill all the requirements she has been avoiding over the past four years. But until the day before that deadline, her horizons are clear. She eats a balanced diet, takes brisk walks on cold winter days, and has watched the entirety of Twin Peaks: The Return in a weekend, a stunning feat of endurance that questions the laws of what good TV watching can be.  

As one might expect, her strategy will go straight to shit once she finally registers for classes and finds herself weeks behind in every class. But until then, she has plenty of time to devote to Twin Peaks, eight hours of sleep every night, and her physical and mental health.