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How to Tell Your Wharton Hookup You Won’t Call Him Uncle Sam


Photo (with edits) by Donkey Hotey / CC BY-SA 2.0

He’s hot, he’s the It Boy in your cohort, and he’s a future titan of industry. It only makes sense that you want to impress him in the bedroom! Be careful, though, ladies. Not every Wharton guy is into the same kinks you are. Next time a Huntsman Hunk asks you to call him Uncle Sam in the bedroom, try one of these tips to refuse without ruining the mood:

  1. Suggest a benign alternative, such as “daddy.”
  2. Tell him “Uncle Sam” is your safe word.
  3. Bring up the fact that Uncle Sam’s pointed finger made youth come to the army and that his can’t make you come at all.
  4. Print out a picture of you and your uncle and put it on your bedside table. Tell him your uncle’s name is Sam.
  5. Ask him to call you Hillary instead. It’s called a power dynamic, not a power stagnation!