Lauren Baron


Articles

Quiz: Did a Frat Star Punch a Hole in Your Wall, or Was It a Tiny Mr. Kool Aid Man?

Here's the scenario: after throwing an absolutely bangin' mixer last night, you come downstairs to assess the carnage.


All Penn Advising to be Replaced by Microsoft Word's 'Clippy' Assistant

Perhaps the most advanced feature of the new advising system is seamless integration with Pennintouch.


5 Juicy Citrus Fruits to Peel When you Miss the Thrill of Undressing Your Winter Break Lover

School is BACK, and so is your insatiable, stress-fueled sexual appetite.


2 Step Authentication Now Required to Enter Smokes

Once this policy is in place, any patrons who have not enrolled in two-step verification will be unable to access Smokey Joe's or utilize any of its resources. Violations are punishable by I.D. bend and permanent banishment.


OP-ED: SISTERS, This Rush is Super Sweet, but Does She Spark Joy?

Consider, deeply, the fact that you are not choosing rushes to discard, but, rather, rushes to keep. 



Bold! This Student Went Home to Study During Reading Days and Never Came Back

Finals season is upon us, and many students from the area are migrating home to increase their productivity while they prepare for exams. Allie Gross (E '20) is among the homeward bound, but one thing sets her apart from her peers: Allie has no intention of returning to campus this year.


BREAKING: Every Woman You Know Has Changed Her Name To ‘Katie’

Three days ago, Philadelphia courts were overflowing with an influx of women aged 18-24 interested not in appealing their speeding tickets or renewing their passports, but in simultaneously changing their names to “Katie.”



Weekly Horoscope: Which Pret Sandwich is Your Sign?

The straightforwardness and enthusiasm of an Aries is best characterized by the “Pret’s Ham and Cheese” baguette.


Last Call! Pick Up Your HUP Wristband From MERT at Saxbys From 3-5 p.m.

Fling has flung!!! Stop by Saxbys to pick up your HUP wristband and save time in the emergency room this weekend.











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